Sunday, February 12, 2012

She might seem like an alien, but...

My teenage daughter (17) has a friend (same age) that has been hanging around the house for a few months. Sometimes she would stay late and I would send her on her way home.  Sometimes I would notice her in front of the house driving (with no license) and she always mentioned she worked two jobs and is a full time high school student.  I often wondered what kind of parents she had and took the time to go an introduce myself.  While there, I noticed a house full (about 6 or so) of teenagers living at her parents house and they all were home ALL THE TIME (even in the afternoon).
Two weeks ago my daughters friend asked if she could come live at my house.  The story? Her and her mother had gotten into an argument, she was kicked out and she had been living on her own for about three months and was tired of moving from house to house.  WHAT?  I was floored.  I decided a phone call was in order, so I phoned her mother.  She answered in a cheerful tone, so I commenced to letting her know that her daughter was at my home and what did she intend to do.  Her response?  (be prepared to pick yourself off the floor)
"You keep her! She can't come back here!" I was speechless and I needed to understand why. None of the reasons she gave had merit. None of the reasons she gave warranted kicking your 17 year old daughter out in the streets to fin for herself.  She went on to say.."If you call Department of Children Services, they will call a foster home (probably in another district) and she is a Senior, so it is likely she won't graduate". My mouth was still open.  She completed our call with.."I hope she does well!" REALLY? 
Was she kidding?  When I heard the call drop, I realized that just like our call, she had disconnected herself from her daughter.
This was difficult for me to understand because my daughter is the same age and at times I feel like disconnecting.  Sometimes I think she is from another planet, but my job is to ensure she is raised, completely and lovingly (on this planet)!  I can't imagine things being so horrible between my kids and I that I would allow a stranger to raise them.